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"We didn’t ask them to make decisions about whether or not they would approach someone with the intention of asking them out...

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The same study revealed 11 percent of survey respondents were in a sexual relationship that did not involve cohabitation.

Can a casual sexual relationship exact an emotional toll?

In some instances, making a decision that was not favored by the group could have meant death.

Mate-choice copying is an extension of our psychological tendency to take other opinions into consideration when we make a decision, and this is not the first study to identify mate-choice copying in women.

Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.

Last modified 29-Jan-2020 08:30